If the classic traditional man is old money, the digital neotraditional man is nouveau riche.
During a dark time in the early 2000s, people created a whole new sexuality to refer to cishet men who had a dedicated hygiene routine that did not depend on a 3-in-1 shower gel. Ideas around modern masculinity have evolved since then, but remain true to the femmephobia that birthed the metrosexual. The fear of the feminine has created a never-ending cycle of rhetoric that is as confusing as it is dangerous.
“The chief distinction in the intellectual powers of the two sexes is [shown] by man attaining to a higher eminence, in whatever he takes up, than woman can attain–whether requiring deep thought, reason or imagination, or merely the use of the senses and hands … Thus man has ultimately become superior to woman.”
The Descent of Man by Charles Darwin
The developing views on masculinity versus feminity are growing from the violent colonial import that is Victorian gender ideology. In Victorian gender ideology, the feminine and masculine were opposing but complementary only with the understanding that the masculine was superior. Think of the Victorian gender roles presented to us in Brigderton but with life-threatening stakes. The ideals of Victorian gender roles intersected with class divide as well i.e the lower class a woman was the more compromised her feminity, the less deserving of male protection and thus more vulnerable.
“From infancy, all girls who were born above the level of poverty had the dream of a successful marriage before their eyes, for by that alone was it possible for a woman to rise in the world”
Victorian Women Expected to Be Idle and Ignorant by Charles Petrie
In the Victorian Era a women’s education was limited to domestic conquests, women could not own property or be educated beyond skills required to maintain a home. Feminity became closely tied misogynistic ideas of purity, integrating purity culture into women’s oppression. The Victorian woman’s vulnerability was absolute; her safety was completely dependant on her father, husband or closest surviving male relative.
On the side of masculinity, being a provider, protector and stand up member of society secured your status of superior. Where there were the perks of dominion over the fairer sex there were still constraints of respectability politics; a man’s reputation was vital to his standing in a society.
‘Only marriage could yield the full privileges of masculinity. […] To form a household, to exercise authority over dependents, and to shoulder the responsibility of maintaining and protecting them—these things set the seal on a man’s gender identity’.
‘Becoming a man’ by John Tosh
The idea was simple, man-big-strong, woman-small-weak. The rules were ridgid and clear. Men earned their standing in society with proof of the best acquired and maintained assets, women were considered part of the asset portfolio.
Since the dawn of Victorian gender theory, society has experienced multiple shifts including globalization, various liberation movements across identities, waves of feminism and expansions in gender theory that I hope are making Darwin turn in his grave. However, like a radioactive cockroach, the core idea that feminity is only found within one gender and as such weakens said gender, has refused to die.
Incels, alpha male podcasters/vloggers are a digital community that appeals to lonely men who seem to have a difficult time interacting with women. The accelerated social and economic shifts in gender roles for many societies (Western societies in particular) creates an edit of power when it comes to sex and dating. More women can get an education and pursue careers outside the home, which means the criteria for a man in more women’s lives stretches beyond socioeconomic safety
For impressionable men unable to rise to the occasion, feelings of disenfranchisement fester and they turn to content that purports hegemonic masculinity as a solution. Hegemonic masculinity is dependent on hierarchy at the top is the “alpha male” whose central characteristics are a man of means and heterosexual prowess. Anyone outside this criteria is inferior. To defend and reinforce their sense of masculinity this community uses the digital language of violence instead of unpacking why the expansion of women’s choices makes them feel threatened and inadequate.
This hegemonic masculinity maintains the thesis of Victorian masculinity but removes the responsibilities tied to what was ideal Victorian manhood. Where the likes of Charles Darwin and his ilk were theorists who relied on biased academia to spread their misogynist rhetoric; the Digital Neotraditional man often opts for keyboards and microphones under the genres of lifestyle and self-help.
In my opinion, the Digital Neotraditional Man is the result of men so enamored by the promise of the oppressive power of their forefathers they failed to attach to the possible nobility tied to a desire to guide, provide for and protect those one loves. These men are lacking in every skill needed to encompass and augment a noble definition of modern masculinity. And, as such are abusers in training, cosplaying masculinity. Their ideology of manhood has proven dangerous to society and has created a man-child brotherhood standing in the way of their healing and evolution.
Thank you for reading if you would like to support my writing, subscribe to my Patreon! or support via Mpesa 0743235974.
You can also support my writing by buying my ebook of essays Behind The Paywall is available for purchase here.
Fashion Science By Mitteiy 